MUNDANE MOMENTS (I Am The Victim)

I've not punched many of these keys recently, been tired, been napping on the sofa wrapped in my tiger rug. Ok, so..over the last few weeks i..

* Went on a great, great, great adventure! We drove to BIG Asda Price (wow!) for food (yes really) and to Toys 'R Us (wooo!) to look for a flying spaceship that my housemate insisted on having. They didn't have one. We then were forced to go to 3 different Woolworths to try and find it. They didn't have it either. So we bought crates of Stella and drove home (sober and somber).

* Along with some friends i took a bit of a beating at the end of a recent night out. No real reason for it of course. The poor chap had to take some of his anger out on someone, i was one of the lucky punchbags. I lost my keys, bank cards, and phone while scrambling around of the ground. i ran home..ha! I've been involved in soo many of these random handshakes i'm thinking about starting a scrap book.

* Had my right arm biten off by a crocodile in a nightclub.

* Had my shirt ripped and a drink spat in my face by a charming young lady. It may have had something to do with the fib above. Why people so angry?

* Saw Spiderman waiting for a haircut in a barbers.

* Embarrassed myself in front of a housemate's mum. "Jaaames!! Is this your POO that STINKS down here!?" i yelled as i skipped downstairs not knowing she was at the bottom of the stairs with the door open "Oh don't mind me, i was just listening to the birds".

* Saw a blue haired girl carrying a mermaid with no nose.

* Panicked when i spilt ketchup on my shorts minutes before the cops came knocking at my door (to interview me about the beating i took the night before). would they believe it was red sauce? or BLOOD from another crime? worry not, they were late and i changed into joggers.

* Have been listening to our little album while driving round Bristol and Bath. It's quite good with the window down and the wind in your hair.

* Have surprized myself by surviving without the sat nav i had been carrying around for the last few months.

* Saw 2 people with 1 arm each within an hour.