ALIENS IN MOUTH

BIGGER THAN JESUS

CLICK HERE to see the rest of this set of photos over on BEANSNAPS.

USHERED OUT


SPEILL BERG ALBUM COVER TEST (No.1)

MY FIRST FILM

Via the Speill Berg blog..

"HEY!! I'VE STARTED FILMING FOR THE SPEILL BERG ALBUM!! I'M MAKING MUSIC USING SOUNDS FILMED ON MY LITTLE DIGITAL CAMERA. I'M MOVING BACK TO HERTFORDSHIRE WHERE I'LL BE WORKING ON IT. WHO KNOWS WHAT IT'LL END UP SOUNDING LIKE. I HOPE IT'LL BE DONE BY EARLY 2010. STAY TUNED MOVIE FREEEAKS!"

COME WORSHIP ME!

Hey good people, my lovely friends,

As you know i'm being FORCED to leave Bristol at the end of the month cos i can't pay the bills. It's soo unfair! I cant do what i want to do. Booo! I blame the government! Down with Blair! I'll be back from time to time but might not see you for a while so it would be nice to have one last slow dance with you all. Soo.. tomorrow evening isn't my birthday exactly (its Sunday) but i would LOVE to see you all and pretend its my birthday. I'm not planning on anything MENTAL but i guess i'll still drink a MENTAL amount of booze. I'm going to the Invada event at Colston Hall on Saturday night (hope you're coming too?) so its like a double birthday!


A PLAN (of sorts) FOR FRIDAY NIGHT (join me whenever you want)..

4.30pm - booze in house with party hits on the stereo.
5.30pm - ARNOLFINI cheeky cans outside (in the sun..its gonna be sunny!)
6.30/7pm - THE APPLE BOAT / (outside) THE OLD DUKE
8/9pm - NEW COLSTON HALL - its great! i went the other night. it'll be a good spot to get all together. u can all buy me drinks! there's a free event on. HERE is the link.
11pm/12am > - ??? let's see what happens...

Give me a call whenever u wanna come out and i'll tell u where we are.

Cheers

James
x

230909 > 240909

> HEY! I'm up EARLY! ticking off my lists before i leave Bristol on Sunday.
* St Vincent 'Actor'
* YACHT 'See Mystery Lights'
* JJ 'JJ No 2'
* Malcolm McLaren 'Duck Rock'
> all ive eaten today is a baguette, the baguette was 6ft long.
> Interview with Slow Club's @PopularRebecca
> FINAL SHIFT AT THE CINEMA!! WOOOOOO!! ..should i - A) set off the fire alarm B) pee in the 'slush puppie' machine C) pull down the big boss' pants D) turn off the projector & act out my own (1 man) movie E) throw all the 3D glasses off the roof F) sulk off without saying goodbye ??
> last shift passed without too much drama. although saying that a meathead RIPPED OUT A SEAT!..during 'The Firm' film bout f'ball holligans.
> i wont miss having to pander to all the pretty happy couples that come in to see films..or the mis-matches that make me even more angry.
> just snuck out un-noticed. v low key.was tempted to shout at 1 of the managers on the walkie talkie when she was rude to me but bottled it.
> well...i have OFFICIALLY left the MOVIE BUSINESS! NOW!! i must work hard to 1 day get back in the MOVIE BUSINESS (4 REAL! RED CARPET!).
> just looked at the Invada timetable for sat & sees i'll be celebrating my birthday..when the clock strikes 12 with the F BUTTONS! woohoo!
> off for a loooong walk round the city doing various jobs and a bit of emotional sightseeing.
> its HOT outside! what a lovely long walk i had. i looked like a fresher. Bristol feels like its all gonna kick off again, shame i'm off..
> i'm gonna have a pizza and then a little nap. it's 2:47pm, i'm unemployed again!
> YES! 'Julia' remixed
> looking at a football lolly i picked up from my letting agent's office while listening to my new BeanBag spotify mix (no.6).
> my daily diet is a joke. toasted cheese sandwiches for dinner. only 3 days til BOOT CAMP changes that.
> inviting all to drink with me tomorrow evening. I WANT MY FRIENDS! i want a photo with everyone i know this weekend.
* King Creosote 'KC Rules OK' - struggling with v slow internet.
* SJ Esau 'Wrong Faced Cat Feed Collapse'
* The xx 'XX'

THE SEARCH FOR MY REPLACEMENT

As you may have gathered from past posts i'm going to be leaving Bristol this weekend. Very sad. I'll post more about that this weekend. Sooo i've had to find someone to replace me in the flat. I set about looking for Mr (or Miss) Right. I got a MASSIVE response to my Gumtree advert! I was getting emails constantly for 3 days. I arranged 13 viewings. I wasn't gonna let this go unreported so as soon as the potential flatmate had stepped out the door i twittered about them and scored them out of 10 (ahh c'mon, they'll never find out!). Here's how it all went..these are the original tweets..

> just an hour til the 1st potential flatmate turns up. i need to get this room in shape, well..jus move a few towels, nothing stressful.
> 1st up...OWEN! waiting to hear the buzzer go. im a little nervous. i cleaned the bin lid, cant be bothered to empty it though.
> i'm gonna go do my hair.

No.1 OWEN - seemed shy, dressed all in black (good look).Brummie i think. i like him. 7.7/10

No.2 ADAM - came with his g'friend who acted like his PA. not keen on her. he had big muscles and is into going to the gym. freindly but i know his type. not sure. he liked the fact we had sky sports. dont think he was keen on the mess. 6.4/10

No.3 JOHN - ponytail!!? from Cyprus.warm smile.talked very slowly.does animations.maybe over stayed his welcome.dragged on. said a few things that made me think he's a bit of a loner who would hate any noise. 6.6/10

> I NEED FOOD BADLY. doubt im gonna get a chance cos No.4 DAN's up next. No.1 OWEN just rang to say he wants it,told him he's in the lead. ha!
> oh no, just looking back over No.4 DAN's email, he says the word 'chillax' and he's a chef. bit worried about him now.

No.4 (change in order) JARED! from N.Zealand. sweaty handshake.seemed v nervous at first. turned into a really cool guy. he's a teacher. sounds desperate for a proper bed after months in european hostels. plays guitar & was excited bout Gareth;s room. ha! says he'll pay me for my bed, says he's got loads of $..for this reason he's just taken the lead. 8.5/10

No.5 DAN is late. i'm pretty much ruling him out b4 i even meet him. he's ruined my lunchtime! might give him the quick tour. DAN showed up at last. not a care in the world! no apology.scruffy git! friendly but would be a nightmare to live with. 6.2/10

> DAN & No.6 TOM had an awkward meeting.i didnt know who to talk to so had to talk to them both at same time.Tom didnt like Dan i could tell.

No.6 TOM - shifty little beedy eyes. looked like a posh rugby boy.said money is nothing to worry bout as he has a house! what!? too confident. asked about the band gear in G's room. asked if we were like later Radiohead!? trying to be all cool. i felt he was trying to push his own character out and force in what he thought i wanted to hear. 6.1/10

> No.7 ELENI up next! BRING ON THE GIRLS! can i squeeze a pizza in before she turns up? she'll be the last of the 1st batch.
> seems this flatmate thing is a big hit with u cybers. ive been getting nice messages all day. u will be able to vote too at the end of Tues.
> @jamesnation you'll be there for the 2nd batch of Gremlins. starts tonight from 9pm.
> i need a poo but dont wanna stink the flat out for when the lovely ELENI turns up. if i hold it in i might fart in front of her. arrrgh!¬
> this is the most fun ive ever had on twitter, and i've had alotta twitter fun!!
> i just noticed i have a load of a shark's fin & wasabi peas on my bed frame, the bed i've been trying to sell to the people.

No.7 ELENI Pleasant. like a little mouse. Greek. she had a strongbow cider tshirt on, not sure if it was ironic or not. not the girl i wanted to meet.she kept writing stuff in her little mouse notebook.she's looks into peoples brains for her job! scared she was gonna eat my brain. she seems to think she's already got the place. WRONG. 7.2/10

> PIZZA TIME! gonna be really late for work..dont care! SACK ME!! hahahahahahhahaaa!!
> coming up later tonight on the show we've got..CLODAGH, JAMIE, MAX, & ASH! Tune in from 9pm.
> No.8 CLODAGH should be arriving soon. the rest of the flatmates are here now. i hope they are as polite as i am towards the guests.

No.8 CLODAGH Wooah! shocked me! classic blonde beautician.imagine the girls who sprays u with perfume. really nice..WAY too good for us. was funny seeing Gareth and James' faces when she walked in. she'll never wanna live with those dorks! dont think James' g'friend would be happy with her living here.im thinking bout offering her a room at my mum's house. a def NO but 9.0/10

No.9 JAMIE. started off with a good on-the-spot joke about breaking in through the window but all downhill from there. didnt seem bothered.THIS was his big chance to shine but he blew it! could'nt stop staring at his big gap inbetween his front teeth. nice chap, but no passion. 7.4/10

> @PopularRebecca 2 more tonight then two tomorrow. i WISH this was my job! i like judging people.

No.10 ASH GINGER! thick rimmed glasses.very nice guy.would fit in well.i'd like to see him again (not in that way!).v relaxed, a dude. the others seem v keen on him. u cant knock the boy, the boy done good! 8.4/10

No.11 MAX -within 5 secs i knew he was a no no.UBER GEEK.accountant. nice enough.'bit needy' as G pointed out.had purple animal tshirt. the others were'nt impressed. they have made NO effort so far! they're sat there playing Fifa. sorry Max.. 6.5/10

> ..and that's it for today! 11 BRAVE CONTESTANTS HAVE FACED ME AND BEEN GRILLED TO DEATH!....IN THE ULTIMATE TEST OF CHARACTER, FOR THE CHANCE TO BECOME.. THE NEXT MEMBER OF..THE TOP FLAT CREW!! join me tomorrow at 1pm when we will continue the search for the newest member of...THE TOP FLAT CREW!
> brilliant idea! we should get 3 finalists, take them to boot camp (the pub) then to the live final which would be in front of the others, where they would have to sing a Beatles cover on the Beatles rockband game!

No.12 HEATHER - another sweaty entrance.friendly. didnt give much away.had to run back to work. I dont have much more to say about her really. 6.7/10

No.13 SIMON - Ladies would love Simon.he was alright.blonde hair blue eyes, looked bit like a mannequin.something bout him im not sure about. a young doctor..like Doogie Howser. seemed desperate to see the others. 'fraid not matey. 7.0/10

> THE SEARCH IS OVER! IT'S BETWEEN..OWEN,ADAM,JOHN,JARED,DAN,TOM,ELENI,CLODAGH, JAMIE,ASH,MAX,HEATHER & SIMON. WHO WINS....I DECIDE!

> i drew up a shortlist 4 the others(who were'nt that bothered,its only the person they'll be spendin the next 6months with).

> FLATMATE SHORTLIST - JARED, OWEN & ASH

> ..after alot of huffing & puffing they have decided (well..forced into deciding)..
the winner..& next TOP FLAT CREW MEMEMBER is.....JARED!! ..i rang JARED to tell him the good news! ...he's found somewhere else to live. hahahahahahaha! ........"Hello, is that OWEN?"

> OWEN is the winner!!! yay! just rang him to tell him the news.."ahhh sound mate, ahhh maaan!" it was like i'd saved his life. he's been sleeping of peoples floors for the last few months. i feel my power has been used wisely. Competition over. *Coldplay's 'fix you' plays over the montage of the 'best bits'. "I've been your host Heinz Junkins, GOODNIGHT!"

POP CHARTS (Week Ending 24/9/09)

My LAST FM page.
(Click to enlarge)

210909 > 220909

> ahh just remembered my dream! i went to Anstruther (Scotland) to go on a walking trip with James Yorkston & my brother.
* Slow Club 'Yeah So'
> @yocleary thanks. i'm enjoying it. when i listen to them talk, im not really listening, im thinking about what score i will give them.
> @rob_sell nah, it'll be my decision. am i Davina then? i LOVE THE POWER!!
> IMPROV.
> my flatmate @jamesnation bought Beatles rockband today & opened it in a excited hurry with a big knife only to find no game inside. oh.
> i have started to feel guilty about saying stuff bout the potential flatmates.hey if u read this i was only kidding,u all were really nice.
> ahh the new Curb was as brilliant as ever! and a new Funkhouser!
> Sugababes are NOTHING without Keisha! they cant carry on surely?
> RT @DAVID_LYNCH I'm wearing a hat.
> oh no. just had a visit from the electricity man. we are i BIG trouble.
> someone put a creme egg in my bed last night!?? it was either @jamesnation or @garethljones ? why? thanks, but why?
> BIG MONEY offer on my table. in talks.
> MASSIVE toasted cheese & salami baguette coming up! "oh can i have a side order of potato salad & cous cous please?" > sure thing!
> i LOVE 'The Inbetweeners' - just watched the one with the football friend.. friend ...friend.
> i started filming/recording for the Speill Berg album yesterday.
> before xmas i'm gonna run from Buntingford to Bengeo!that's just 1 of my many new goals in life.i dont expect anyone else to care bout this.
* Eric Copeland 'Alien In A Garbage Dump' - this is what i want my SB album to sound like!
* Happy Mondays 'Bummed'
> 'Live From Sudio Five' is the worst programme. Ian Wright & Melinda Messenger putting the world to rights.
> Beatles Rockband in the house!! @jamesnation is acting like a hyper kid on xmas day. i shouted at him to CALM DOWN DEAR! i've left them doing 'i wanna hold your hand'. im terrible at the game of course. slow drumming is quite fun when u get it right.
> sick of The Beatles!
* Daniel Johnston 'Hi, How Are You'

BOON'S BEAN BAG - NO.6 - 24/09/09

CLICK HERE to listen to BOON'S BEAN BAG NO.6 (on Spotify)

Previous BEAN BAG'S can be found HERE.

EA SPORTS

THOMAS HOWL

MOOLS

SHOPPING

GLON'S ESCAPE

WEEK COMMENCING 180909

(7.34)

UNDER CRACKERS

THUMB

RUBBISH

THE GIANT & THE ARTIST

FOUND (Tour Profit)

FOUND (Uplifting Postcard)

..well the message inside was.

SLOW CLUB DRIVE-BY!

TEXTS (August Part 2 / Sept)

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7 BODIES

ANGHARAD & DAN WEDDING

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MUM'S DESERT ISLAND DISC PARTY

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BRISTOL FESTIVAL - VARIOUS LIVE (19/20th Sept)

I didn't see much. However i did catch.. Joker, SJ Esau, Ghetto, Babel & Turbowolf..

Went to Colston Hall which is new shiny & new. awful indie band in the lobby. TONS of excited kids running about. gangs looking hard. we looked a bit out of place, but i didnt care. Ghetto was good, missed JME, Joker was brilliant but no one seemed to interested. it was a bit weird being in Colston Hall. bumped into an old cinema friend. 1 of the few i really got on with. he went to school with Joker. a fight broke out at one point & i thought a gun was gonna go off as the 2 big gangs clashed in the middle of the hall. EXCITING! Start The Bus was great. i was on my own by this point but didnt care. missed Appleblim but went nuts for Joker & his magic fingers.


190909 > 200909

> LAZY SATURDAY. want to go to Bristol Festival but i cant be bothered and there's hardly any of my mates about. cheese sandwich now, ha.
* Jay-Z 'The Blueprint' - the original blueprint
> better wash for the festival, dont wanna be one of the crusty festival types.
> very excited about making a song for a comic book. gonna write some words tonight/tomorrow. SPACE / DOLE LIFE / GUNS / SUPER POWER.
* Madvillian 'Madvillian' opening my 1st beer.
> i'm gonna steal a 2nd can of beer from my flatmate. he got all emotional about me leaving Bristol y'day night (he was hammered though). i'm a liddle tipsy after jus 1 can! what!!? singing along to Wild Beasts while writing rhymes for our comic book song.
> errgh.horrible taste in my mouth.mixture of cider and chicken tikka subway, both nice at the time but now i need to hose out the toxic fumes.
> toasted cheese sandwiches while watching the Manchester derby.
> and still the gumtree replies keep coming! its gotta be about 30 now. booking people in for monday. i'm gonna score them all.
> wow! what a match! Hughes looked like he wanted to kill Fergie at the end. looking forward to the interviews.
> i want an american burger and american choc milkshake. but like a fat american im too lazy to get up off my ass.
> i am trying to save/eject a fly with a tennis racket and can of deodorant while on a ladder.I FAILED.its buzz is gonna BUG me all day.
> 3-0 game over. back off to the Festival to catch the main man SJ Esau! no booze today. need a southern fried chicken wrap i feel.
> back from festival. i wimped out drinking. i ducked out the rest of the evening. SHATTERED. had a big burger and kitkat chunky.
> im gonna fall asleep in front of the TV like a sunday night grandad.
> got 10 strangers coming round my flat tomorrow. i'm praying for no weirdo's. i will give them each a score on here. tune in tomor!
> i like this guy.
> wow! these photos are cool.
> great paintings.

OUTSIDE MY WINDOW (Part 3)

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TYPE FACE

NIGHTMARE BEFORE WEDDING

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SICK BOY WHEN HE WAS WELL

THE XX - LIVE (17th Sept)

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160909 > 180909

> oh no, its time in the edit for me to face up to my Kate Bush karaoke.
> i enjoy the truth and the lies. roll them up together.
> feeling FRESH! cleaning!
> just got sent the FUNNIEST message from a Japanese girl!
> 'Miss March' - a new low for cinema. i had the misfortune of seeing some today. ergggh! WHY!!?? Why do people go to films like 'Miss March'? some of them even looked normal nice people. i wanna shake them! enjoyed the cinema scene in 'Inglourious Basterds' - its how i want my last day at work to be like. a BLOODBATH! im joking, dont report me. a tip for any single men,wait til '500 days of summer' ends &wait outside lookin all indie & thoughtful.didnt try but would imagine it works.
> waiting for Slow Club to finish rocking the people of southampton before tucking them into bed. maybe their tour manager should do that. got 2 hours to kill....cheese and TV?
> wonderful morning with Slow Club eating croissants & yogurts. sad to see them go. been asked to film them on tour, hmm..could do that soon. they gave me 'The Jerk' DVD.
> off to see The xx do an instore gig. need a poo first.
> wow. been offered my perfect/dream job. hope i can do it. it involves sitting indoors on twitter. hahahahhaa!!
> @j0annepsi my mummy's nest til i can fly again. (Hertfordshire)
> BIG PIZZA! & liddle tin o stella.
> im off out to say farewell to a friend who is leaving Bristol. i'm taking a mic with me (but wont be using it). the nap has made me sleepy.
> enjoyed tonights @boycalledwonder chat about pigeons producing milk. got told off by him for not being a man and facing up to work.
> time for food. i have given up caring about my body. this will change on sept 28th. til then its all good..all good the good stuff baby!
> im 1989/90
> dreamt i got attacked but a gang of red squirrels.had another job as a delivery driver but things kept stopping me from starting up the van.
> yay! getting an Invada colston hall ticket for me bday. thanks dad!
> the advert seems to be going down well on gumtree! 5 people in about an hour!
> friday night work! damn! last friday night at the movies though. hope peeps leave me some malteasers.
> oh jeeez! i've had over 20 replies to my gumtree ad! i'd love to set up a WWF style royal rumble in the flat to find the winner.
> ahhh yes, toasted muffins and cup of tea while watching new Peep Show. great as ever! the Hitler tash makes me even more like Mark. when he added it on with pen i had flashbacks to the London gig.
> had a zinger tower burger from KFC today. nothing more to add other than it was wonderful and i'll wont be having another for years!
> 'The Firm' film attracts HORRIBLE thuggish lads who barged through me thinking they were on their way to a brawl.bad example of english men.
> found some (still wrapped) Simspons biscuits behind a seat. hid them behind a bin and ate them after my KFC. a couple kissed in front of me 4 about an hour.i couldnt move cos i was looking after 3D glasses.they didnt move cos they didnt care bout me.
had a nice normal conversation with a popcorn girl about her plans for the future.how could i say i was a late 20s failure moving back home? i was told by our security guard.."i think you over think things too much".

WHAT JUST HAPPENED

'What Just Happened' = 6.4 / 10