THE SEARCH FOR MY REPLACEMENT

As you may have gathered from past posts i'm going to be leaving Bristol this weekend. Very sad. I'll post more about that this weekend. Sooo i've had to find someone to replace me in the flat. I set about looking for Mr (or Miss) Right. I got a MASSIVE response to my Gumtree advert! I was getting emails constantly for 3 days. I arranged 13 viewings. I wasn't gonna let this go unreported so as soon as the potential flatmate had stepped out the door i twittered about them and scored them out of 10 (ahh c'mon, they'll never find out!). Here's how it all went..these are the original tweets..

> just an hour til the 1st potential flatmate turns up. i need to get this room in shape, well..jus move a few towels, nothing stressful.
> 1st up...OWEN! waiting to hear the buzzer go. im a little nervous. i cleaned the bin lid, cant be bothered to empty it though.
> i'm gonna go do my hair.

No.1 OWEN - seemed shy, dressed all in black (good look).Brummie i think. i like him. 7.7/10

No.2 ADAM - came with his g'friend who acted like his PA. not keen on her. he had big muscles and is into going to the gym. freindly but i know his type. not sure. he liked the fact we had sky sports. dont think he was keen on the mess. 6.4/10

No.3 JOHN - ponytail!!? from Cyprus.warm smile.talked very slowly.does animations.maybe over stayed his welcome.dragged on. said a few things that made me think he's a bit of a loner who would hate any noise. 6.6/10

> I NEED FOOD BADLY. doubt im gonna get a chance cos No.4 DAN's up next. No.1 OWEN just rang to say he wants it,told him he's in the lead. ha!
> oh no, just looking back over No.4 DAN's email, he says the word 'chillax' and he's a chef. bit worried about him now.

No.4 (change in order) JARED! from N.Zealand. sweaty handshake.seemed v nervous at first. turned into a really cool guy. he's a teacher. sounds desperate for a proper bed after months in european hostels. plays guitar & was excited bout Gareth;s room. ha! says he'll pay me for my bed, says he's got loads of $..for this reason he's just taken the lead. 8.5/10

No.5 DAN is late. i'm pretty much ruling him out b4 i even meet him. he's ruined my lunchtime! might give him the quick tour. DAN showed up at last. not a care in the world! no apology.scruffy git! friendly but would be a nightmare to live with. 6.2/10

> DAN & No.6 TOM had an awkward meeting.i didnt know who to talk to so had to talk to them both at same time.Tom didnt like Dan i could tell.

No.6 TOM - shifty little beedy eyes. looked like a posh rugby boy.said money is nothing to worry bout as he has a house! what!? too confident. asked about the band gear in G's room. asked if we were like later Radiohead!? trying to be all cool. i felt he was trying to push his own character out and force in what he thought i wanted to hear. 6.1/10

> No.7 ELENI up next! BRING ON THE GIRLS! can i squeeze a pizza in before she turns up? she'll be the last of the 1st batch.
> seems this flatmate thing is a big hit with u cybers. ive been getting nice messages all day. u will be able to vote too at the end of Tues.
> @jamesnation you'll be there for the 2nd batch of Gremlins. starts tonight from 9pm.
> i need a poo but dont wanna stink the flat out for when the lovely ELENI turns up. if i hold it in i might fart in front of her. arrrgh!¬
> this is the most fun ive ever had on twitter, and i've had alotta twitter fun!!
> i just noticed i have a load of a shark's fin & wasabi peas on my bed frame, the bed i've been trying to sell to the people.

No.7 ELENI Pleasant. like a little mouse. Greek. she had a strongbow cider tshirt on, not sure if it was ironic or not. not the girl i wanted to meet.she kept writing stuff in her little mouse notebook.she's looks into peoples brains for her job! scared she was gonna eat my brain. she seems to think she's already got the place. WRONG. 7.2/10

> PIZZA TIME! gonna be really late for work..dont care! SACK ME!! hahahahahahhahaaa!!
> coming up later tonight on the show we've got..CLODAGH, JAMIE, MAX, & ASH! Tune in from 9pm.
> No.8 CLODAGH should be arriving soon. the rest of the flatmates are here now. i hope they are as polite as i am towards the guests.

No.8 CLODAGH Wooah! shocked me! classic blonde beautician.imagine the girls who sprays u with perfume. really nice..WAY too good for us. was funny seeing Gareth and James' faces when she walked in. she'll never wanna live with those dorks! dont think James' g'friend would be happy with her living here.im thinking bout offering her a room at my mum's house. a def NO but 9.0/10

No.9 JAMIE. started off with a good on-the-spot joke about breaking in through the window but all downhill from there. didnt seem bothered.THIS was his big chance to shine but he blew it! could'nt stop staring at his big gap inbetween his front teeth. nice chap, but no passion. 7.4/10

> @PopularRebecca 2 more tonight then two tomorrow. i WISH this was my job! i like judging people.

No.10 ASH GINGER! thick rimmed glasses.very nice guy.would fit in well.i'd like to see him again (not in that way!).v relaxed, a dude. the others seem v keen on him. u cant knock the boy, the boy done good! 8.4/10

No.11 MAX -within 5 secs i knew he was a no no.UBER GEEK.accountant. nice enough.'bit needy' as G pointed out.had purple animal tshirt. the others were'nt impressed. they have made NO effort so far! they're sat there playing Fifa. sorry Max.. 6.5/10

> ..and that's it for today! 11 BRAVE CONTESTANTS HAVE FACED ME AND BEEN GRILLED TO DEATH!....IN THE ULTIMATE TEST OF CHARACTER, FOR THE CHANCE TO BECOME.. THE NEXT MEMBER OF..THE TOP FLAT CREW!! join me tomorrow at 1pm when we will continue the search for the newest member of...THE TOP FLAT CREW!
> brilliant idea! we should get 3 finalists, take them to boot camp (the pub) then to the live final which would be in front of the others, where they would have to sing a Beatles cover on the Beatles rockband game!

No.12 HEATHER - another sweaty entrance.friendly. didnt give much away.had to run back to work. I dont have much more to say about her really. 6.7/10

No.13 SIMON - Ladies would love Simon.he was alright.blonde hair blue eyes, looked bit like a mannequin.something bout him im not sure about. a young doctor..like Doogie Howser. seemed desperate to see the others. 'fraid not matey. 7.0/10

> THE SEARCH IS OVER! IT'S BETWEEN..OWEN,ADAM,JOHN,JARED,DAN,TOM,ELENI,CLODAGH, JAMIE,ASH,MAX,HEATHER & SIMON. WHO WINS....I DECIDE!

> i drew up a shortlist 4 the others(who were'nt that bothered,its only the person they'll be spendin the next 6months with).

> FLATMATE SHORTLIST - JARED, OWEN & ASH

> ..after alot of huffing & puffing they have decided (well..forced into deciding)..

the winner..& next TOP FLAT CREW MEMEMBER is.....JARED!! ..i rang JARED to tell him the good news! ...he's found somewhere else to live. hahahahahahaha! ........"Hello, is that OWEN?"

> OWEN is the winner!!! yay! just rang him to tell him the news.."ahhh sound mate, ahhh maaan!" it was like i'd saved his life. he's been sleeping of peoples floors for the last few months. i feel my power has been used wisely. Competition over. *Coldplay's 'fix you' plays over the montage of the 'best bits'. "I've been your host Heinz Junkins, GOODNIGHT!"