011209

Day 1 of 100 today! (More on that later). I dreamt i was on a beach with mates and The Fall started playing, Mark E Smith got me to read aloud to the crowd. Had to help write a new band biog which was quite painful. It's hard work trying to sound positive you see. Too much dust on my desk! I will have to address this problem one day soon..i'll just make a note of that - CLEAN & DUST DESK. The Fence Homegame Festival tickets went on sale today, i think everyone got their tickets. I'm getting a free one, raahhh!! I'm looking forward to AND dreading doing my annual BEANSONBREAD AWARDS. I have them in my head, if only it was a simple case of plugging my head in to blogger. Nipple plasters ON! (more on that later). I have a 'nipple pot' now. its where i'll be keeping my sweaty used nipple plasters (more on this later, suspense!). Am i a muppet? Am i really a Jim Henson muppet? I thought about this for a while and decided probably not, although it would explain alot if i was. I done 5,000 tweets, gimme a medal!! PUMP SPORTS are sponsoring me. I turned down Nike, Adidas, Reebok, etc. I wanted to keep it real (more on this..blah blah later). Watched a bit of Delia's Christmas on TV, im gonna make sausage rolls this year i've decided. 'Miranda'..is there a worse show on TV?? Left the old folk downstairs chuckling. How have i managed to watch 3 episodes if i hate soo much? I posted this on twitter and was instantly attacked by 7 different people. It was a little scary. I even got told that - i am Miranda!? Turns out her biggest fan is the pop star the the The Pictish Trail! (who also started his 100 days today, see link below). Here are the tweets from Miranda's army on fans after i tweeted about how much i disliked it..

pictishtrail
@HeinzJunkins What the BLAZES are you on? Miranda is the best show on telly right now. You've obviously been missing all the best bits.

pictishtrail
@HeinzJunkins Did you see the bit the other week where she threatened to shit all over the gymnasiums towels? SHE IS GENIUS. end of.

pictishtrail
@HeinzJunkins When she looks at the camera - THAT'S HILARIOUS!! Did you see the bit where she drew a massive cock?!

crocodileyears
@HeinzJunkins you want to date Miranda! I quite like it actually. Except 4 the dancing and waving at the end. She reminds me of u a bit.Ha!

pouss
@HeinzJunkins what u don't know is that YOU ARE Miranda.......

rob_sell
@heinzjunkins JAMES i like 'Miranda'. guilty pleasure. it's stupid. good stupid.

boycalledwonder
@HeinzJunkins Miranda is the best new comedy in ages, dude. You're so not with it, dude.

rob_sell
@heinzjunkins http://miniurl.org/Gd3 give this the 60second test.first 45secs get a solid 3 laughs out of me. her face! the teapot! #miranda

pouss
@HeinzJunkins so u have started a war of harsh words against #Miranda you will lose.

bobbystips
@HeinzJunkins keep your mouth shut, but just remember that you are actually right

crocodileyears
@HeinzJunkins #miranda is a topic! It's trending already! Get with the programme grandad!! Ha.

j0annepsi
@HeinzJunkins Not normally my style of humour but it's so tongue in cheek. It's what I call...hilarious!

j0annepsi
@HeinzJunkins Miranda is hilarious!

crocodileyears
@HeinzJunkins Are you saying that you don't laugh when she looks at the camera all funny?! You're dead inside.

crocodileyears
@HeinzJunkins keep it shut, then look at the camera all funny and you'll get a laugh. #miranda get with it gramps!!

Scraps
Wu-Tang Clan on the radio in 1997, funny stuff.
Jedward to play at Glastonbury?! That would be AMAZING!
Brilliant new Flaming Lips video!
OLO Worms are listed on the front cover of the new Drunken Werewolf mag.
The Pictish Trail's 100 days.
WOOOOOAH! New Slow Club xmas EP sounding great!

Soundtrack
The Invisible - 'The Invisible'
The Unthanks - 'Here's The Tender Coming' - wow, really great!
St.Vincent - 'Actor' - finally getting into this and enjoying it.
Jon Hopkins - 'Insides'
Monsters Of Folk - 'Monsters Of Folk' - meh, a bit meh! i love Jim James, shame.
Metronomy - 'Nights Out'